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| 6.11.06 |
| Why I would come back to St. Louis |
It was raining and for a few time snowing. I found paintings that will last in my internal space with tracks of colour, and the significant broken lines of the last-lost painted mentality. In a shop, I pick three postcards for my collection. The old St. Louis comes flying with its cupolas. It comes like an imaginary city's fantastic architecture in the European art. The city that never existed -as it said an exhibition's title-, existed. And I cannot know it. I just can be a lonely person walking down its unique stage of agony with something of fear. Red bricks cry. Cracked sidewalks. Wild grass with the debris of a wild human mood. The townhouses seem exiliates on its own land. And I must love all this decay because it is dying in front of me and nobody cares. Because I can see them and imagine and desire the rescue of their abandonment. They send me the message: we are untouchable. We are the past without human breath. But I even do not know where this can be. Inside of the Arch? Empty streets remember me I am in the United States. So I listen to the buildings. I go from Norht to South, West to East thinking how beautiful this city must have been. I stick my eyes to the car's frontal window. I do not want to miss anything and a symbol of union appears multiplied and becomes a symbol of more human absence: tunnels-bridge in the air between buildings. Time versus Socialization. The city makes me feel its melancholy and I must love it again. My aunt grandmother Esperanza dies in Spain and it is her funeral. It is raining. And I must see death in all where my presence is. And I must love again the city. The sadness breaths too. It can be in the dull eyes of a rhino, in a leopard's roar , in the anxiety of a bear, or in the nervous movement of an elephant. I am 26 years old and it is my first time in a zoo. It does not mean that I have never had the opportunity to visit one, but I have never wanted to do it. I feel guilty contemplating them. They should not stay behind the bars, they are not guilty. I make penance taking pictures to plants and free animals. Rabbits and mouses. It is dark and cold. Anything from the Mediterranean makes my stomach feel happy and safe. I choose a Persian Restaurant in South Grand Boulevard. Living in a strange land, the senses are always tuned antennas for any closed signal. I am in the same street inside of an international market buyying hummus, pita, saffron, feta and blue cheese. I wish I could live in St. Louis just to stay next to this place. It is almost 8 p.m. and th ere is an opened shop. If there is something opened at this time in this country, and it is not Walmart, it may be something interesting. I enter the store, I pay $34 and I go out with three old paintings of Paris, the city of my youthful day-dreams. I am happy. I continuous in the same street. Erato Wine Bar & Grand Market. Javier Mendoza's concert. I please my senses with a piece of white chocolate cheesecake, a black beer, and the South-Spanish rhythms with a proper mix of electronic sound. And of course, there must be a conversation between Spanish people -with Javier and his cousin-, some laughter and an invitation for a paella in Columbia. Songs in Spanish and English go and come like my feelings between two lands. |
posted by Laura R. C. @ 14:56   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Time for heavy toughts I see. Some times it is inevitable…You have condensed indeed a lot of sensations and different images in “few” lines and it’s not easy to follow this train of thoughts. Nevertheless I can say you that I visited a zoo when I was a little kid and I remember it like one of the worst experiences of my life. I remember the sadness expressed by the animals’ eyes… I remember the silent prayer…”please let me go…” At that time I had not yet the awareness that in a future, I could have suffered the same pains… A men imprisoned in a jail… more or less.
However I assume that this sum of thoughts and unpleasants sensations is due to a particular moment… why not… sometimes we need also a time for memories, for melancholy, missing a person, a city, your land or simply a song… What can I do for you? Well, I could start wishing you a lot of days filled with nice sensations like the ones supplied by the white chocolate cheesecakes… Or by a good black beer… Te abrazo fuerte! Besos…
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 This is a bilingual -Spanish and English- space to set free
creativeness and uphold communication. It is the negation of the maxim that recommends people to be conformist and quiet: "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil". See, hear and speak with me!
Laura R. C. Columbia MO (USA).
Para curiosos/Glance at
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Time for heavy toughts I see. Some times it is inevitable…You have condensed indeed a lot of sensations and different images in “few” lines and it’s not easy to follow this train of thoughts. Nevertheless I can say you that I visited a zoo when I was a little kid and I remember it like one of the worst experiences of my life. I remember the sadness expressed by the animals’ eyes… I remember the silent prayer…”please let me go…” At that time I had not yet the awareness that in a future, I could have suffered the same pains… A men imprisoned in a jail… more or less.
However I assume that this sum of thoughts and unpleasants sensations is due to a particular moment… why not… sometimes we need also a time for memories, for melancholy, missing a person, a city, your land or simply a song… What can I do for you? Well, I could start wishing you a lot of days filled with nice sensations like the ones supplied by the white chocolate cheesecakes… Or by a good black beer… Te abrazo fuerte! Besos…